Chapter 25. Doctor, are you happy in life?

Dr. Yeshwanth K. Amdekar, DCH, MD (Pediatrics), FIAP

Purpose of our life is to be happy

                                                                        Dalai Lama

It is impossible to build happiness on someone else’s

Unhappiness

                                                                        Dalsaku Ikeda

Life is a journey and not a destination

Each journey begins with a dream. Some of us may have dreamt to be a doctor while others became doctors by default. However, when a journey as a doctor begins, one definitely dreams of future life. This is the time to know what you want to achieve out of doctor’s life, very purpose of life. You need to set priorities, decide what toad to take to reach there and assess whether it is reachable. After all, life is what we perceive! Life is best for those who are happy and so enjoy, difficult for those who analyse and so unhappy and worst for those who criticise and so frustrated.Life lived for others is a life lived well.

Purpose of life as a doctor

Fact that one exists does not make life worth! What is the measure of worth? Is it success or happiness or both? Both may not always go together in equal proportion. Success is you get by any means what you desire while happiness is you want what you need and you want what you get. Success is what others think about you while happiness is what you perceive yourself. Robin Sharma in his novel “monk who sold his Ferrari” defines success as an unintended side effect of an act done for anyone other than yourself. Such a success is most difficult and but possible to achieve in life. However, success lies in happiness and happiness in turn promotes success. Happy person is not the one who has everything but one who makes the best out of whatever he has. So, appreciate what you have and be happy, try to improve without competing with others – otherwise pursuit of happiness itself becomes the cause of unhappiness.

Life journey has three phases

Generally, life journey evolves and creates new challenges from early age through middle and old age. During early age we dream, middle age we try to achieve our dreams and old age we introspect what better could have been done that we lost precious time and opportunities. During early age, we have time and energy but no money, in middle age we have energy and money but no time and in old age we have time and money but no energy. It is clear we need to strike a balance in life. When young and successful, you lose our health to collect wealth and then in old age, you lose wealth to regain health.  Money is required but it also often brings in problems and hence make journey of life with minimal luggage that brings happiness more than success.

Phases of medical practice

To begin with it is the phase of aspiration. Initially there is wishful thinking of scientific, ethical and rational practice but waiting for patients makes one get restless and stressed. Slowly there is a drift from aspiration to compulsion leading to monetary pursuit that brings in wealth with increasing volume of practice. It appears to be end of stressful life with happiness forever. Soon life revolves around practice and money with increasing greed. It results in burning-out with Finally let one doctor remain in communication as a spokesman so that there is no confusion created by different ways of expressing same message. It is at times conceived as opposing views and becomes bone of contention. Deteriorating quality of practice, health and family – all at a time. It results in work-life imbalance with attendant cost to health. This is the phase of success without happiness. But habits die hard and so life continues the same way thereafter as it is too late to change. But as you entered third phase in which other colleagues start shining more and one becomes insecure about losing patients to other colleagues. By now if you have not developed any other hobbies, you remain frustrated and depressed. So, this is the phase of eternal unhappiness. This is how many end up without attaining happiness in life.

Be responsible for happiness in your own life

Purpose of life is happiness more than mere success. Road to life twists and turns and so we need to turn rejection into an opportunity.Stanford University in USA was born out of such rejection. Mr and Mrs Stanford were on vacation to Boston in their old age and suddenly thought of donating all their assets to his alma-mater – Harvard University. It was their last day in Boston and still decided to see the Dean if possible. They had no appointment but were ready to wait through the day in case Dean would have time to see them. Dean’s secretary informed the Dean about old couple ready to wait till evening and go away if Dean had no time. So, Dean decided to see them when they offered all their assets to the institution. Looking at the old couple in informal vacation attire, Dean thought they would probably offer few dollars and so thanked them without accepting their offer. Mr Stanford was dejected and as they walked out, his wife said to him “why should we not start a university ourselves and compete with Harvard” and that is how today Stanford University stands as one of the most prestigious universities in the world.

Life should be like a tennis game – you serve well, then return well but don’t forget game starts with love-all. Life is like a piano where melodies arise from use of both black and white keys. Similarly, life also has ups and downs and we need to brave through to make ourselves happy. But don’t forget life is like a bicycle – if you stand still, you fall. So,we must try to move forward in life.

Avoid one letter word “I”, instead use two letter word “WE”, overcome three letter word “EGO” because its outer edge cuts popularity and inner edge purity, instead use four letter word “LOVE”.

Learn to “give” more than “take” – it comes back to you in plenty. So, we must give and forgive but often we get and forget. Patience and silence are two great energies in life. Patience makes you mentally strong, silence emotionally strong.

How to achieve happiness?

Finale to perfection in life is to be happy. Happiness resides in you – search for it. Be grateful for what you have, it will make you happy. Motivate yourself to work with passion and joy – you will enjoy it. Once you are motivated, habits will sustain your happiness. You must develop an attitude to achieve happiness, after all attitude takes you to altitude. Share your happiness with others, spread happiness wherever you go and not whenever you go. Some people make you happy when they come, others when they leave. Happiness promotes health so that you can enjoy life.

Personal notes

During final year of postgraduate training, I started teaching my juniors and also undergraduate medial students to help me learn the subject better.Teaching is the best way to learn. After completion of education, as I was appointed as honorary teacher in Grant Medial College, teaching for learning became a passion.It continues till today and it gives me tremendous happiness besides keeping me updated.

Before starting practice, I went to get blessings from one of the first pediatricians of India – Dr Raghunandan Sanzgiri. On knowing that I was appointed at J.J. Hospital, he told me that I would be happy if I sincerely served the poor and teach medical students. He ended by saying that such daily acts of goodness bring happiness in life. Since then, I never missed attending J.J. Hospital for 30 years and I enjoyed my tenure. I believe in destiny – pre-determined course of events and I was never short of anything in life nor had anything in excess – a perfect balance. Thus, I could spend more time of my life in teaching rather than earning money and it has made me rich in happiness index. And even then, money did come, more than what I needed.

Take home message

Strive hard to be excellent and rational in your practice – passion and joy in practice makes it possible that in turn bring happiness. You must enjoy life – don’t forget life has an expiry date. Growing old is natural but growing up is optional. Aging is the only way to live longer – don’t worry about old age – it does not last long. Tragedy of life is not death but what you did not do when alive. Life is a long journey from human being to be humane. Finally, take care of your own life so that you can die young as late as possible.

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